What?

"It's like, we're brother and sister. We got married and didn't even know it."--Jon Colaco

The Phantom Bride

"I've been married for like, 4 months now. I don't even know the person. It's pretty rocky."--Spencer Carpenter

Ghetto Tats

"The mark of the beast; it's kinda ghetto."--Jon Colaco

Irritated Deity

"God is bugged."--Spencer Carpenter

Sistera Rodentia

"I hate it when my sister talks like a chipmunk."--Jon Colaco

Unusual Shopping

"Nice purse!"--Spencer Carpenter
"Thanks! I got it..."--Katie
"At Ross? The toilet store?"--Spencer Carpenter

Qualified Intellect

"So, you're saying I'm only half dumb?"--Katie
"You're not smart enough to be fully dumb."--Ryan Schmidt

Unmedicated Bliss

"It's such a good feeling to be done with finals."--Jon Colaco
"Yeah, it's like, who needs drugs?"--Spencer Carpenter

Public Display of Emotion

"Are you crying? Get a room!"--Spencer Carpenter

Equine Equivalence

"You look like a horse... except for your physical features."--Mary Ellenberger

Understandable Incompatibility

On a sticky note found outside the pool:
"Stuffing weeds in your face and setting them on fire doesn't make any sense to me."-MacArthur

Exclusiveness

"It's just me and the monkey over here" - Haley

"As it should be" - Spencer Carpenter

Sweet Faith

"There is such a thing as the sin of unbelief."--Katie
"Cinnabon belief?!"--Vonna

Vegetative Fatherhood

"Dad's not a TURNIP!!!"

Devilishly Gassy

"I'm really gassy tonight."

"It must be the devil in you."